100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 89

Wow, only 89 more days until the due date. It's so surreal. I still remember going in for my frozen embryo transfer. I was by myself because someone had to stay home with J. I was wearing a jean jacket, a maxi squirt, and a teal tank top...and funny enough, my nail polish matched my outfit perfect (the doctor even made mention of it). I had to wait a while in the procedure room by myself (when doctors do this, I always have the urge to explore everything). When the doctor, nurses, and lab techs came in, everyone was in a great mood and it made me feel great. I remember feeling so relaxed during the procedure and so relaxed afterwards. I had a sense of calm with me that day.

And I still remember the day I took a pregnancy test. I had gone to the dollar store on my lunch hour and bought two tests. I was feeling so out of control (really though, with pregnancy and new life, it's ALL of our your control...which I have learned now!!) and wanted the option to test if I felt like I was going crazy. And as many women in the two week wait will say, it feels more like a 2 month wait where your mind runs wild. That night I ended up taking a pregnancy test. I figured if it came back negative it would be because it was too early to test and because it wasn't first morning urine. I took the test, gave it 30 seconds, took a peak, and felt a huge rush of disappointment and sadness. I can't explain the feeling I felt when I saw another negative. And then as if God were saying "you are such a silly child, have patience", the faintest second pink line appeared. I was shocked. I have never seen two pink lines before!! I was over the moon singing praises to God.

Picture of me with my first ever positive test

I follow quite a few infertility blogs. Some of the women are currently pregnant (Yah! Congrats!!) and some of the women are still struggling with negative tests and big decisions on where to go from there. All of these women are in my prayers.