100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 66

Resolve to Know More

There are quite a few infertility blogs that I read on a daily basis. I was over at Holly's blog and thought I should share the article she posted from Still Standing Magazine. The article really nails it on the head of how ridiculous comments sound to someone facing infertility. Have a quick read...

"So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile? (author unknown)

1. As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!
2. You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!
3. My cousin was paralyzed, but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.
4. I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.
5. Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.
6. Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.
7. So... when are you going to start walking?
8. Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk - everywhere I go!
9. But don't you want to walk?
10. You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.
11. You're so lucky...think of the money you save on shoes.
12. I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happy that I can walk.
13. I hope you don't try those anti-paralysis drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.
14. Look at those people hiking...doesn't that make you want to hike?
15. Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.
16. Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.
17. I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.
18. I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.
19. You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track and field trophies.
20. Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.
21. If you just lose weight your legs will work again.
22. If you would just have more sex, you could walk!
23. You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here, let a real man show you how to walk!
24. You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.
25. Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!
26. Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!
27. When we were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.
28. And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running...

All of these comments would be beyond inappropriate to say to someone who is unable to walk. So why are people struggling with infertility subjected to this? It's just not fair. We don't need to be reminded on a daily basis that our bodies are failing us. We don't need to be reminded that our greatest hopes and dreams may never come true.

Women and men struggling with infertility are some of the strongest people I know. They fight this battle on a daily basis never knowing if they will win it or not, but they keep moving forward. But comments like "just relax" sting to the core. So the next time you are talking to someone struggling with infertility, just remember how silly and hurtful these comments are.