Wednesday, 2 April 2014

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 88

Since I talked about our FET yesterday, I should talk about my memories of our adoption (which I remember just like it was yesterday as well).

It was a Tuesday night and I was sitting downstairs with my hubby. We were watching something on TV when my phone rang at 8:50pm. I thought it was odd that a private number was calling. When I answered, it was our previous match worker (their job is to find families for the protection worker that they think would be a good fit) who was just promoted to a supervisor. This really surprised me because it was clearly after office hours. She was calling to tell me that there was a woman who was in labour and that hubby and I were chosen as a match.

And then, my phone battery died. I was so panicked. How could it die during such an important phone call?! I don't think I have ever ran upstairs to our bedroom so quickly to get the charger. After what seemed like an eternity, my phone finally started up again. And I was so relieved when the our previous match worker phoned back. She gave me the few details she knew and that she was hoping to come over in the morning with the protection worker so we could go over all the details of the case and make a decision. We agreed to the meeting.

I was beyond excited. I wasn't sure how I would feel when we got a phone call but all doubts flew out the window. How can anyone say no to a baby? I sure can't (call it a weakness of mine). I sure wasn't expecting a phone call after only being back on the list for adoption for 3 weeks.

That night, I could not sleep at all. I was too excited. Finally, the morning rolled around and the supervisor, protection worker, and another social worker showed up. The first thing they told us was that the birth mom was not in labour. This was disappointing to me because I was so excited. The protection worker (the one who picks the family for the child) told us we were the only family she had chosen (normally, they narrow it down to two families and interview each family and decide at that point which family would be best). Side note: later on she told us she had to fight for us because there was another protection worker who wanted to choose us as well for their case...this made me feel good. She gave us all of the details she knew about the birth mother and father, their families, medical history, etc. We were told this would be a low risk case (meaning there was a very small chance of this baby going back to birth family). After hearing everything, we decided to say yes.

We ended up waiting a little over a month for this little guy to arrive. My heart would skip a beat every time my phone would ring. Finally, on a Wednesday afternoon, just as I was about to leave home to go back to work from my lunch, my phone rang. And it was a private number. Baby was coming!!! At around 9:30 that same night I received a call to say the baby is here. I was so glad the protection worker phoned that night and didn't make us wait until the morning.

When the baby was discharged from hospital, the protection worker brought him straight to our house. And our lives were forever changed.

About 4 months after this little guy was born, he was scheduled for one of his routine check ups at CAS (you have to use the doctor at CAS while the child is in CAS care). The protection worker phoned me shortly before the appointment asking me if my hubby and my mom could come with me. I immediately began to panic. Normally I just go on my own and I knew earlier that day, the protection worker was in court for this case. My heart sank. I was fighting back tears on the way there. I was so sure she wanted them to come with me so I wouldn't be alone for bad news. We were waiting in a waiting area outside of the doctor's office when the protection worker came off of the elevator with a bouquet of flowers and a helium balloon. I immediately went into shock. She couldn't be delivering bad news with a congratulations balloon. She wanted hubby and my mom there to share in the exciting news. They had gotten crownwardship!! I just stood there in shock. I had dreamed about this day and dreamed of how wonderful it would be. And then when it finally happened, I couldn't process my emotions. I just stood there in shock. It didn't set in for a few hours.

That was such a happy day for both of our families. The next happy day came on Christmas Eve, which marked the end of the days the birth parents had to change their minds about relinquishing all of their rights. But nothing will compare to the happiness I felt on the day of happy court. Waiting in a crowded court hallway with other happy families waiting to receive the final adoption record. It was so hot in the hallway. Walking into the court room was a breath of fresh air. It was nice and cool. The court room seemed so big with just the judge, the person taking notes, our protection worker, my parents, hubby's mom (hubby's father was away unfortunately), hubby's sister, my friend, and us. We sat at the very front and J played with a plastic cup while everything was happening. Then the judge made everything official and we were presented with the adoption record. We took a few photos inside the court room to remember the special day.

Adoption is such a special thing. No words can describe it. I know a lot of families worry about adopting and having no genetic ties to the child. Let me be the first to say that I don't even think about that. When I look into my sons big blue eyes (neither my husband or I have blue eyes), all I see is my son. I don't see him as my "adopted" son. He will always be my son and I will always be his mommy. It's surprising how many comments we get of people saying he looks like us. Everyone, including our friends and family, say he looks like my hubby. My mom has even been out with J and has had people tell her they can see the resemblance. We just smile and say thank you.

I love my son's adoption story. I don't think I'll ever forget any of the details. They are tattooed on my mind. It felt like a long road, but his adoption was definitely worth the wait.

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