Tuesday, 22 April 2014

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 68

Below my "Resolve to Know More" post is my day 68 post.

Are you 1 in 8? Are you part of the 1 or part of the 7? Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility? 1 in 8!! That's a huge number. And if you are told you fall in the 1 category, your world comes to a crashing stop. I know mine did. Being told you won't be able to conceive on your own turns your hope in desperation. Desperation on what you are going to do, when and if you will be able to have a family, how you are going to afford treatments, if the treatments will work, how you'll protect your emotional state when baby showers are announced and you see pregnant women everywhere, and how you are going to tell your family and closest friends.

When my husband and I first met and began dating, we were both honest with each other when we said there was a possibility that we could both be infertile. It wasn't confirmed until almost 3 years later that we would need medical help to conceive. It was when our first adoption fell apart that IVF became a reality and I went through the testing to see if our infertility was just male factor or would be both male and female factor (we are both male and female factor). We weren't surprised by what the doctors told us, but it still devastated me.

Hubby and I were one step ahead of the doctors though. Since we figured it would be hard for us to conceive on our own, we started the adoption process before we were married and were approved 2.5 months after our wedding for adoption. I think this helped us tremendously, or at least me, because I didn't have people asking me "so when are you going to start your family?" I think if I were ever asked that question I would have responded with "mind your own business." I think a lot of people are beginning to realize at how inappropriate of a question this is. I couldn't imagine having to put a fake smile on my face and give an answer like "soon" or "we are in the process of trying" or "because when I was younger I had so many surgeries and developed so much scar tissue that my tubes are blocked and my ovaries don't know my left side from my right side...what else do you want to know?"

My advice to everyone would be to think of each couple without children are infertiles. If a couple wants to talk about their personal life and that they are trying to have children, they will let you know. If they don't bring it up, you shouldn't either because even though your intentions are kind, they can be very hurtful. And if you know a couple is going through infertility treatments, it may be best not to ask them about it and how it is going. You could be asking them on the day they just found out their embryo transfer didn't work. And I can tell you from experience, it's crushing. I preferred to not have anyone bring it up to me. I didn't want to give out all of the details on my ultrasounds, and follicles, and uterine lining, and all of the blood tests. These are all things that we will share if we want to.

Now onto my Day 68 post...I have to say I feel 10 times better than I did yesterday. J slept great. He was so snuggly last night and at bedtime, I put him in his bed and put his book down so I could straighten up his blankets for him and he grabs his book and looks at me as if to say "mama, don't forget about my book." And after I tucked him in, he didn't even get out of bed like he usually does. He also had a great sleep which means I had a good sleep. I did wake up in the middle of the night because of heartburn, but nothing a little Tums couldn't take care of.


  1. You have inspired me! So glad I have found your blog!

  2. Hey there!! Just came across your blog and wanted to say thank you for sharing your story! I find so much strength through other women who are stuggling!! You are in a way, lucky that both you and your hubby knew beforehand that you might have trouble conceiving. We didn't know until after about a year of trying that something was probably wrong and it wasn't confirmed til after two years. Happy NIAW. Best of luck to you on your journey!

    1. Thank you! I look forward to following you on your journey.