Monday, 25 January 2016


Finn is my frozen embaby. This embaby was created when I did my first round of IVF and Finn was one of 3. When my marriage fell apart and my ex husband and I went our separate ways, Finn was still frozen. Destroying Finn was not an option but after being given heartbreaking news (that it was unlikely a family would want to adopt 1 embryo) by the only adoption agency in my country that facilitated embryo adoptions, I felt defeated, I felt that there was no other options and my heart was broken.  I prayed and prayed about Finn and cried out many times to God. I begged God to save this precious life, to intervene, to do something. I wrote publicly about it because I was hurting and needed a release. And by God’s grace, He led a wonderful family to my blog and they reached out. They wanted my precious embaby. They wanted to give this precious life the same chance I wanted to give it. They were willing to adopt my one precious embaby and have Finn be a part of their family. I cried that night. I thanked God and cried some more. Tears of happiness, tears of thankfulness, and tears of gratefulness.

It’s been a few months since this beautiful family first reached out to me. After getting to know this family, my heart felt at ease and I knew this was God’s plan. God answered my cries. God is good!

As the day nears that Finn will leave my family and join their family, I am getting nervous and excited. Nervous because I so badly want this to result in a live birth for Finn’s new family and excited because I am so hopeful that it will! I pray and pray and pray and I believe this has been God’s plan all along, it may even be the reason why I felt that I needed to start a blog, not just to try to help other infertility warriors and use it as a coping tool for myself, but because God knew all along that Finn belonged to another family and my blog was how God was going to introduce us. 

Thursday, 7 January 2016

Currently, I am...

Currently, I am...

Enjoying: My engagement!!!!!!

Feeling: Hurt. I have been so excited about my engagement to Chris and couldn't wait to ask my best friend to be my maid of honour. Unfortunately, when I asked her she said no and the only reasoning I got was that she felt like she wouldn't be good at it. 

Wishing: For my engagement ring to come back from the jeweler. It's in being sized right now. It should have already been sized but somehow there was a mix up and my ring never got sized. 

Loving: My beautiful ring and being able to call Chris my fiance! I love that Chris gets excited about our wedding and shares in my excitement when I show him things I have pinned. 

Hating: The cold weather. With this cold weather brings about dry hands for me. It seems that no matter how much hand cream I apply, my hands still crack. And it is painful!

Anticipating: Our upcoming snowboarding trip to Mont Tremblant. I can't wait to spend a few days away with my future hubby!

Watching: The Making of a Murderer. Chris loves documentaries and we were looking for something new to watch since we finished The Office. We have watched episode 1 so far and I'm sure tonight we will be watching the second episode.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

A Very Special Christmas Eve

I wrote this post for my Dirt, Worms, and Little Toes, but I had to share it here as well. It's a pretty special one.

I love the holidays. There is something about Christmas time that makes me feel so happy inside, all warm and fuzzy. This year, I could not wait for Christmas. The only thing better than Christmas as a child is Christmas when you have children. 

Last year, Chris and I decided to make wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve a tradition. It's fun to just lounge around in comfy clothes, sit by the fire, sip on wine, and wrap gifts for the people you love. So that's exactly what we did. A Christmas story was on in the background and lucky for me, it got switched out for Christmas music instead. The Christmas music led to dancing while we were putting the wrapped gifts under the tree, which I loved.

As I was putting the last gift under the tree and fixing the gift tag on it, Chris said my name. When I turned around, he was down on one knee with a ring box in his hands. He opened it and asked me to marry him. I was in shock, completely surprised. I let out a surprised gasp and heard Chris say "well?" to which I responded "YES! YES! YES!" 

I am happier than I have ever been before. Chris has shown me what true love is and what true love feels like and I cannot wait to be his bride and future wife. He is my Prince Charming, the one I thought only existed in fairy tales. Chris is my happily ever after!