Saturday, 6 September 2014

After Labour and Delivery

Shortly after Grayson was born, he was checked out and the doctors noticed he was breathing funny and had a temperature. So he had to be checked by the NICU team (some of the scariest moments of my life). Turns out, the temperature was just from him being skin to skin with me (he's just like his mama...overheats easily). And the funny breathing was nothing to be concerned about, but they did do blood tests to be on the safe side.

I had a second degree tear which had to be stitched up and left me extremely uncomfortable. Once I was stitched up and my mom, aunt, and uncle all had a chance to snuggle with Grayson, my aunt and uncle went on a mission to get me McDonald's breakfast (the night before I said I hoped the baby would come in time for me to have McD's they took this mission very seriously).

The hospital wastes no time in moving you from the labour and delivery unit to the mom and baby unit. Getting up after delivery and being stitched was terrible. Not to mention I felt funny from the epidural (but my nurses were all great and helped me tremendously).

I spent one night in hospital and was able to go home the next day. I tried to take in and enjoy every moment of this experience, even just being in the hospital because it's an experience I've wanted my entire life. Growing up I watched shows like Baby Story on TLC and couldn't wait to have the experience. As I got older, I stopped watching the show because it would make me so upset...the jealousy and envy and sometimes even hate I felt wasn't worth it. Unless you are infertile, you will never understand how painful a show like that is to watch.

I believe the second night I was home was when I realized I had a fever. I wasn't feeling well at all. I was tired, my body was not only sore from the delivery but now from the fever as well, my breasts were very tender and I had sweats and chills. The next day my fever wasn't getting any better and I went to the doctor and was given antibiotics. It took a few days for the antibiotics to kick in but when they did, I felt so much better.

I look back on my labour and delivery experience and I can't believe I did it on my own (yes, I had an amazing support team, but I mean on my own in the sense of being a single mom). I wouldn't trade any of it and I wouldn't change any of it. God has shown me through this just how strong I am. Don't get me wrong, I hit rock bottom for about a month. I felt like an empty shell of myself. I didn't know what to do and I was losing so much weight (my OB was so good at reassuring me that the baby would be fine and he would take what he needed from was me they were worried about). But through it all, God was by my side and God made sure I had the support I needed from my friends and family. They picked up the pieces and they built me back up.

And here I am today...happy! I haven't felt this happy in a very long time. I'm the proud mama of two amazing little boys and I can't wait to see where this life takes us.

Friday, 5 September 2014

Labour and Delivery - Part 2

This is my favourite part of my labour and delivery...when I was induced! I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I believe that the reason why it took all day for a room to open up in labour and delivery was because God had a special gift for me. That gift came in the form of my nurse. My water was broken at 7pm, right after the nurses did their change over. Once my water was broken, I had to walk around and bounce on a ball to try and get my labour started on my own...they were giving me 4 hours. I had to be monitored every 30 minutes for contractions and to see how the baby was doing. During one of those checks, my nurse told me that they don't get to pick their patients and they are just assigned to a patient. She said that she knows how I feel and what I am going through. I just shrugged it off thinking no one can understand what I'm going through unless they've gone through it themselves. That's when my nurse said that when she was pregnant with her second child, her husband had an affair and left her. She had to do it all on her own as well. She said it was the best thing that ever happened to her and it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. She told me she is happily married to a new man and they have two kids of their own as well. To me, this was God's perfect timing. My nurse is exactly who and what I needed, along with my mom and my aunt for support.

By 11pm, I was exhausted. I had been bouncing on a ball for 3 hours straight (I didn't walk too much because my leg hurt from my sciatic nerve). I got myself comfortable in bed and was hooked up to monitors and the pitocin was started. The contractions started shortly afterwards.

At 12:38am the contractions were picking up. My pain level was at a 5 and I can remember being so tired. I had barely slept and had only eaten a sandwich since Friday evening (it was already Tuesday).  At this point I knew I wouldn't be able to do it without an epidural. I needed rest so I asked to have it ordered. At 1:09am my epidural was started. I still remember being absolutely petrified. I became so cold and couldn't stop shaking. My nurse had to bring me warm blankets. I still remember kind of twitching when the freezing went in and after that it was fine. The epidural worked right away but there was a spot on my right side that the epidural missed (it was my right butt cheek all the way around to my front).

I remember at the beginning my nurse telling me that if anything went wrong, my room would fill up quickly with people. And sure enough, it happened. Every time I had a contraction, the baby's heartbeat would dip and they would have a hard time finding it. I've never seen so many doctors and nurses in a room at once. The baby wasn't handling things well and it looked like I was headed for an emergency c-section. The doctors decided to try and add water back into me to see if that would help...and on the second attempt, it worked. That seemed to free up the umbilical cord and things were fine again. This is also the time when I had a breakdown (in front of everyone!). The doctors wanted to put an internal monitor on the baby but couldn't because of my situation. I was heartbroken just thinking that the choices my ex made were harming my baby. I couldn't hold the tears in anymore. I remember my nurse just holding me and whispering in my ear that it was ok.

At 3:42am I was checked to see how far I was dilated and I was at 6cm. At 4:51 am I was 10cm dilated! I remember waking up from sleeping and being so uncomfortable. I tried everything to get comfortable and just wanted to push. That's when my nurse told me I was just checked an hour ago but she would check me again. And sure enough, it was go time. At 5:10am I began pushing. The OB team was busy so it was just the nurse at this time. I had a mirror in the room so I could watch everything that was happening and I also requested that I be the one to pull out the baby when it was time. I wanted to be as involved as possible because I knew there was a possibility that this may never happen again. At 5:30am, the resident OB arrived and assisted with the pushing. I remember asking how long I would have to push for because it was hurting so much...and the OB wasn't even there...I felt like I would be pushing nurse told me he would be here by 6am to shut me up (and let me tell you, the ring of fire is a very real thing and the epidural does nothing for it!!). I remember being able to see his hair while he was crowning and the OB pulling some of it out and everyone being amazed by it...let me tell you, all I wanted to say was "enough with the hair...get him out!!" The OB arrived right before my miracle was born. She was still suiting up when he was coming out. At 5:59am, I welcomed Grayson Nicolas into this world (and the first thing he did was pee on me!!). He weighed 8lbs 3 ors and was 21 inches long. Nothing could have ever ruined this moment. It was perfect. I had the support I needed from my mom and my aunt and the team that helped me through my labour and delivery was amazing.

Holding my precious miracle for the first time was like no other feeling. It was truly a dream come true to be able to experience labour and delivery. I still remember when I first got into my labour and delivery room thinking to myself "so this is it...what I've dreamed about my whole life is finally going to happen."

Through everything that has happened, God has been so good to me!

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Labour and Delivery - Part 1

My labour and delivery story starts on Friday June 20th. My mom was over keeping me company for the evening. We had pizza for dinner and as I was eating it, I could feel my stomach was beginning to hurt. I have an ileostomy and I felt like there was a blockage starting (meaning my intestine wasn't working properly and there was no output in my ostomy bag). I sent my mom home around 10 even though she didn't want to leave because she was worried about me. I assured her I would be fine and was planning on taking a bath and getting comfy in bed. By midnight I was in so much pain from the blockage. I called my sister in law to see if she could pick up Joshua (she lives about an hour away) and then called my mom and asked her if she could take me to the hospital. When my mom got to my house, I started throwing up. It was awful.

We arrived at the hospital around 1am on Saturday morning and I spent hours in a small triage room. I was hooked up to monitors to monitor the baby and the contractions and I was given Morphin for my pain from the blockage. My aunt arrived at the hospital around 12:30pm on Saturday and my mom had to track her down because I was listed as an anonymous patient and they wouldn't let anyone in to come see me because of it (my OB thought this was best because we didn't want my ex to even know I was at the hospital). When my aunt first saw me, I was asleep against a garbage pail (my mom and aunt so graciously took photos for me). Since I was still throwing up, the doctors gave me an NG tube. They are miserable. It's a tube that goes in your nose, down your throat, into your stomach and pumps everything out of your stomach to give your intestines a break. It wasn't working so they had to readjust's so uncomfortable!!

At 4pm I was sent down for an x-ray to see what was going on with my intestines. The general surgeon team would have preferred to do a CT scan, but obviously that cannot be done while you are pregnant. The x-ray technician was so nice...she let me see the x-rays was so funny to see a baby inside of me on an x-ray! The x-ray showed that the baby was so big and he was completely squishing my intestines to the point they were flat like a pancake. At 9pm I was finally given a room in the antenatal ward while the doctors tried to figure out what they wanted to do. The general surgeon team wanted to induce me to get the baby out in case I needed surgery for an obstruction and the OB team was saying no because they wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs for me and the baby. During this time I asked to have the NG tube clamped because I thought I didn't need it and I wanted it out...but as soon as I got to my ned room I was tossing my cookies again.

On Sunday June 22, my ostomy started working again around 7am. There was finally a bit of output which was huge!! My OB came in to see me and we decided to have me induced. She added me to the induction list for Monday and I was going to have a foley tube inserted that evening to prepare my cervix. My name was first on the list for induction because of the complications I was having. At 7pm, the foley tube was inserted and I was sent back to triage for an hour so the baby could be monitored.

On Monday June 23, my mom, aunt, uncle, and I watched a few movies and played backgammon to pass the time while we waited for my induction. At 1pm, my nurse asked me if I was able to remove my foley tube and when I tried it just came right out, meaning I was already 2cm dilated and it did its job. At 4:03pm we got the good news that a room was available in labour and delivery and at 5:10pm I was moved to the room I was going to delivery my miracle in.

Monday, 1 September 2014

I'm Back :)

I have so much to talk about I don't even know where to begin. I should start off by saying that I am happy. When I wrote my last post, I never thought I would be saying that, but I am SO happy. If I am 100% truthful with myself, I wasn't happy at all in my marriage. I got married for all of the wrong reasons but I took my vows seriously. I won't get into all of the details as to why I was so unhappy, but all that happened was a blessing in disguise. The way I see it is it was God's way of giving me an me the chance to be happy again. I will never regret my marriage though because God blessed me with two amazing boys that I wouldn't have if I never got married.

I'm surprised at how well I am doing. I'm myself again and I love it. I feel like I've been lost for so long...just living the motions for the past 5 years. Now I live for God, for my kids, and for myself. I make my own decisions and don't have to be anyone else but me.

Now, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering how my labour and delivery went and I will write about that, but I'll do a separate post for it tomorrow.