Thursday, 27 February 2014

I'm In A Crafting Mood

Lately, I've been in the mood to craft. I just want to make things and be artsy fartsy, but I never know what to do! My latest project involved Mod Podge (a new obsession) and wood block letters. I bought letters for both the boys, painted them (which took forever because I painted them grey and then changed my mind so had to paint them white and then blue), and then Mod Podge-ed scrap book paper on them (which I had pre-cut). Here's how Joshua's look:

I think glued the letters together and will be drilling a small hole in the J and the A so that I can attach a ribbon and it can be hung on the door. I think my next Mod Podge adventure will be to transfer a photo onto canvas. I also just had 400 photos developed so I'll probably be bringing out all of my scrap booking stuff sooner or later.

A blogger friend at With Great Expectation  created some really cute printables for her nursery, so I thought I would give it a try. I made some for our little guy's new big boy room, just to add a little something to the walls. Pinterest is a great place for inspiration (not just for printables, but for craft ideas too). And here's what they look like:

Monday, 24 February 2014

Appointment and Pregnancy Update

This morning I had a growth ultrasound and an appointment with my OB. The baby is still a boy and weighs 1 lb 5 oz and he's still growing well. I love watching him wiggle around on the screen, that's always my favourite part of the ultrasounds. He's lying transverse right now, so sideways. His head is on my left side and his feet are on my right side.

On a good note, the placenta has moved up, which is great. There's still the dark spot on the placenta and the OB thinks it's what they call a placental lake. She's not worried about it because I haven't been having any bleeding or contractions and because baby is doing well. My OB wants me to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours because I've been having heart palpitations every day. I can be lying on the couch watching TV and my heart just begins to race. She wants to make sure it's just the pregnancy hormones causing the palpitations and not an underlying condition that's just appearing now. I go back in 4 weeks for another growth ultrasound and appointment.

And now, my pregnancy update :)

How far along? 22 weeks, 1 day

Total weight gain? 19 lbs

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Not that I'm aware of

Sleep: I would say great! Hopefully I don't jinx it.

Best moments this week: Being able to video this little guys kicks and punches from the outside...he's getting pretty strong

Miss anything? Being able to sit comfortably in a chair. I figit a lot now because I can't get comfy. I need a couch in my office at work.

Movement: Yes...this little guy is busy in the late evenings but I feel him throughout the day as well, which is a nice reminder that I'm never alone :)

Food cravings/aversions: Still wanting sandwiches :) I'm going to make subs tonight for dinner to help with this craving!

Showing? Yes

Gender: It's a BOY!!!!!

Labour signs: No

Symptoms: Heartburn, a growing belly and chest, nasal congestion

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding ring on or off? On

Happy or moody most of the time? I seem to be pretty happy

Looking forward to: my growing baby bump...I still can't wait for it to get huge! 

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Pregnancy Update

Week 20 seemed to mark the week that I really began to feel this little guy kick and move around. And I love every time I get to feel it. I was lying in bed on Sunday night and felt him moving around and so I put my hands on my lower abdomen in hopes of feeling him from the outside and I felt a pretty big kick! I love that my husband has been able to feel him move. All of the moving is a reminder of the miracle that is growing!

Last week I also experienced a lot of pain in my right side where my stoma from my ileostomy is. I've been feeling it on and off but last week was horrible. The pain gets so bad at times that I can't do anything. It's an extremely sharp pain. I was able to see my surgeon on Wednesday and she said the pain could get worse as the baby gets bigger, especially if my intestine gets trapped between the uterus and the abdominal wall. But to be honest, I can deal with pain a lot better than I can deal with being sick or feeling nauseous. 

Now here's my 21 week update:

How far along? 21 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain? 15-20 lbs? Not sure...I have my next OB appointment on Monday

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Not that I'm aware of

Sleep: The past two nights I have had great sleeps. I only have to get up once!

Best moments this week: Feeling this little guy move more and more and being able to feel his kicks on the outside!

Miss anythings? I miss being able to bend down and lift up a leg to hop over something without it being a huge effort...I'm guessing soon I won't be able to do either

Food cravings/aversions: Sandwiches sound great at the moment...and Jolly Rancher hard candies!

Showing? Yes

Gender: It's a BOY!!!!!

Labour signs: No

Symptoms: Heartburn, a growing belly and chest, nasal congestion

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding ring on or off? On

Happy or moody most of the time? I seem to be pretty happy

Looking forward to: My ultrasound and appointment on Monday!

Friday, 14 February 2014

Jesus Calling Excerpt

I purchased a devotional book called Jesus Calling - Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young after a few women on the blogs I read mentioned it. I've only been reading it for 3 days now and I love it. I really liked today's devotional about fear. Fear is something I tend to walk around with quite a bit. I have to admit that I won't watch any scary movies or Dateline type shows before bed because they will keep my mind racing with fear throughout the night. I'm also TERRIFIED of the dark. I fall asleep with the TV on just so it isn't dark. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I turn on the light on my nightstand so it's not dark.

I've also been carrying around fear with this pregnancy. In the beginning, every time I saw blood, fear rushed through me and consumed me. I still have fear now from the blood that is still in the uterus. But I've been learning to give my fear to God. As humans, we aren't strong enough to handle everything and God wants us to ask for His gives Him pleasure when we seek him.

"Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life - and onward into eternity.
 Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. ..." - Jesus Calling
I never thought of fear and worry in the sense of robbers, but it is very true. Worry and fear are the devils way of taking away our joy, the joy that God wants us to experience on a daily basis.

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Pain of the Heart

The emotional pain that I felt going through infertility, the adoption process, and IVF is still very real. With infertility, I experienced so much sadness that I think it's something my heart will remember again from time to time. I'm definitely in a different place than I was when we were going through infertility. I don't spend countless nights crying myself to sleep and asking God "Why me? Why us?" I don't look at pregnant women and feel like I might fall apart. I don't try to avoid hearing a pregnancy announcement at all costs. But now, I do feel the pain for all of the families struggling with infertility.

One of my biggest pet peeves right now is when people find out I'm pregnant and they go into the whole story of "I know so and so who adopted and a month later found out they were pregnant...sometimes that's all it takes." This little story brings me back to the time when we were adopting and people would tell me that I'm going to get pregnant right after. Well how the heck do you know? Are you God? Do you know my whole life plan? And why are you assuming that this pregnancy is a result of our adoption? This pregnancy was 110% planned. It didn't just happen one day the good ol' fashioned way. It happened because God had a unique plan for us. It's still aggravating for me when others don't understand infertility and how to approach couples who are struggling with it and who have struggled with it in the past. 

That being said, during some of my hardest and most painful days, sometimes music was my saving grace. God introduced me to an artist by the name of Jamie Grace just when I needed her music the most. I would listen to her song "Holding On" on repeat some days because all I wanted to do was give up. This song can still bring tears to my eyes because it reminds me of how far we have come. 


All the signs of life
They’re all around me with every heartbeat
I feel so alive,
I am joy and sadness,
Peace and madness
If only I can fight just a little longer
I know It’s gonna make me stronger

I'll just keep holding on to what I believe
Oh, I believe in You
Give me the strength to fight
And the heart to believe
When it’s hard to believe in You

Oh and these are the times when doubt’s tryin’ to creep in
And I need a reason that’s larger than life when hope seems hard to find
If only I can fight just a little longer
I know it’s gonna make me stronger

So I'll just keep holding on to what I believe
Oh, I believe in You
Give me the strength to fight
And a heart to believe
When it’s hard to believe
I’ll just keep holding on, holding on, holding on
Give me the strength to fight
And the heart to believe
When it’s hard to believe in You
Oh oh oh oh oh
When it’s hard to believe in You
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, I wanna believe

If only I can fight just a little longer
I know I’ll be stronger

So I’ll just keep holding on, holding on, holding on
I’ll just keep holding on, holding on
I’ll just keep holding on to what I believe
Oh, I believe in You
Give me the strength for the fight
And the heart to believe
Cause I’ve got to believe
I’ll just keep holding on, holding on, holding on
Give me strength for the fight
And the heart to believe
'Cause I’ve got to believe in You
Oh oh oh oh oh
Yeah I’ve got to believe in You
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, yeah I feel so alive.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Halfway To Meeting Our Little Guy

I am so excited that we are halfway there. Only another 20 weeks to go :) It seems like so far away but if I stop and think about how fast the past 20 weeks have already gone, I think it's going to be here in no time. I'm really looking forward to having a year off to not only spend with the little one who is growing inside of me, but my little mister that I have to leave for 8 hours each day to go to work. He is just so much fun and I can't wait to spend all day, every day with him again.

The other day when I was leaving work, I found myself thinking about labour. About where I will be, what I will be doing. Will I be at work, lounging at home, out and about running errands, fast asleep and being woken with a gush of water or contractions? Will my hubby be at home or will he be at work? It's just so exciting to think that it's such a never know when it will happen, unless of course you have a c-section or induction scheduled.

Here's my week 20 update:

How far along? 20 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain? I'm thinking at least 15 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes...I just bought a cute denim dress on the weekend.
Stretch marks? Not that I'm aware of
Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty well but I wake up a lot. Luckily I have been able to fall back asleep. 
Best moment this week: Feeling this little guy kick...on Friday night I was lying in bed on my right side and I felt something on my left side. At first I thought nothing of it and then 20 seconds later I was like "wait, I think that may have been a kick." So I was hoping beyond hope to feel it again and I did...he kicked a few times. I still wasn't completely sure if it was a kick or not so on Saturday night, I thought I was feeling kicks again around 7...I read online that if you shine a flashlight on your belly that your baby will sometimes squirm away from it. So I tried with the flashlight on my phone and sure enough, 30 seconds later I felt movement. For 2 hours straight on Saturday night he was kicking away. His kicks are still light...hopefully soon enough hubby will be able to feel them.
Miss anything? Not feeling frumpy...I think the snow and cold days make me feel frumpy...having to wear a big winter jacket is not very flattering. I just want to be able to go out without a jacket and show off this baby bump.
Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really at the moment. I'm finding it hard to eat healthy though because all that seems appealing most of the time is junk.
Showing? Yes
Gender: It's a BOY!!!!! 
 Labour signs: No
Symptoms: Heartburn, a growing belly and growing chest, nasal congestion.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding ring on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time? I seem to be pretty happy but I get irritated easily
Looking forward to: Being able to hear the heartbeat or fetal movement with my stethoscope.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

19 Weeks Pregnant

How far along? 19 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain? 12.5 lbs ... I haven't been on the scale since my last appointment
Maternity clothes? Yuppers
Stretch marks? Not yet
Sleep: I'm back to being able to fall asleep but I wake up every time I have to roll over.
Best moment this week: Lying in bed and seeing how big my belly is getting
Miss anything? Steak!! I want a medium steak but to be safe I'm not indulging
Food cravings: Lemons and spicy food.
Showing? Yes
Gender: It's a BOY!!!!!
 Labour signs: No
Symptoms: Heartburn, a growing belly and growing chest
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding ring on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time? I seem to be pretty happy but I get irritated easily
Looking forward to: Feeling the first kicks and punches from this little guy

Monday, 3 February 2014

The Heartache of Infertility

I still think a lot about all of the women still struggling with infertility. That pain is still very much real for them and I wish it was something no one had to endure. No one will ever understand the pain an infertile couple endures and suffers through each day. The loss that women with infertility are forced to face each day. Unless you have tried for years to conceive on your own with no success, suffer a huge loss every time your menstrual cycle begins, sat down with a doctor who tells you that you have a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of conceiving a child on your own and there is no guarantee that the thousands of dollars you will spend on infertility treatments will work, that your eggs may or may not be any good, that even if you become pregnant, there is no guarantee your body will accept the baby, and this list goes on, you will never fully understand the deep, deep pain these families face. There are women on the blogs I read that are still suffering through an extraordinary amount of pain every day because of infertility. I pray so desperately for them to be given their miracle...a miracle they deserve more than ever. I pray their miracle take home baby will be that next fresh or frozen embryo transfer, or the next time they have some alone time with their hubby, or the next phone call from the adoption agency. Whatever it may be, I pray they are blessed with a healthy baby.