100 Days of Pregancy: Day 73

Right now, I am happy, hopeful, and frustrated.

I just found out that in 2015, one IVF cycle will be paid for in Ontario under OHIP. That is amazing news. The only requirement is that it must be a single embryo transfer. The government is hoping that by offering one round of IVF and only allowing single embryo transfers, that it will pay for itself in reduced obstetric care, neonatal care, and other care related to multiple births and early births. I am really happy that IVF is being funded. Even if it is only one round, this gives couples who had given up in ever having a family hope. So many couples have to say no to IVF and adoption because they just can't afford it. And yes, an adoption through CAS is free (everything is paid for by the government), but not everyone is willing to put their heart at risk in the chance it may fall through...it's absolutely devastating. The only other way IVF is funded is if you have blocked tubes. In that situation (which was mine), the government will fund 3 rounds of IVF and there is no limit on the amount of embryos transferred.

What makes me frustrated is how some people are responding. Yes, for the government to dish out $50,000,000 in IVF costs each year is a lot of money. I get it. But do you not think they thought it through? Do you not think that if they didn't think this would help offset the costs of a multiple birth, they would have agreed to this? I feel the people who are arguing this don't know anything about being infertile. They don't know anything about the pain an infertile couple faces on a daily basis. Maybe, along with funding IVF, the government needs to start a program to properly educate people on infertility and how, in Ontario, it affects 1 in 6 couples.

By no fault of our own, we were labelled infertiles. Why should couples be punished just because they can't afford it? Creating a family is a beautiful thing and it shouldn't be taken away from deserving couples just because they are infertile.

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 74

It's the middle of April and the past two mornings, I have had to clean my vehicle of snow and frost. Seriously Mother Nature, wake up...the Easter bunny is coming this weekend, not Santa. It looks like it's supposed to warm up again starting tomorrow, just in time for the weekend.

When my brother visited a few weeks ago, he brought his girlfriend with him. We were talking about diaper rash and sensitive skin and she brought up coconut oil. I had heard of coconut oil before, but I had no idea how useful the stuff was. She started telling me all of the different things you can use it for and gave me a jar to try out. I have to say, I'm in love with the stuff. I use it mainly on J, but like to use it on my growing belly as well. It does wonders for J's skin (who has super sensitive skin). In case you didn't know, coconut oil is anti-fungal and anti-bacterial...so it's perfect as a diaper rash cream and can even clear up a yeast infection. J had one not too long ago so I thought I would try out it's effectiveness instead of getting a prescription for him, and within a couple of days, it was cleared up. It's nice to know it works so well for him and I'm hoping it works well for the new baby as well. I also really like to use it instead of baby lotion on J because sometimes the baby lotion burns his dry skin and causes more irritation, whereas the coconut oil soothes his skin.

So coconut oil is something I always want to have on hand. And now that we are using cloth diapers and you can't just use any regular diaper rash cream, it's a bonus to know that coconut oil is safe to use in cloth diapers. If you haven't tried the stuff, I would suggest reading about it online and all of it's uses...you may find it useful too.

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 75

Wow, I can't believe 25 days have already passed since I started the 100 Days of Pregnancy posts. I'm glad I'm going these posts because it will be a sweet little reminder of all of the things we did leading up to baby's arrival.

At the OB's office yesterday, she wanted me to have my blood drawn to check my hemoglobin and iron levels. I've always had a low hemoglobin (it's a protein in the red blood cells that carries oxygen) because I have Thalassemia (which also means I have a low red blood cell count). My OB called me this morning to tell me that my iron levels tested fine and that my hemoglobin was still low, but above my average. Normally, hemoglobin should be above 120 in women. Mine normally sits at the high 80s, low 90s. But since I've started taking a prenatal vitamin, it's been sitting steady at 104 since January, which is awesome for me, especially during pregnancy when it tends to drop for women. So for now, I'm just to keep taking my prenatal vitamin.

How far along? 29 weeks 2 days

Total weight gain? 25.6lbs...I haven't gained anything since my last OB visit 3 weeks ago (I have the beautiful weather to thank for that...I love being able to go outside with J)

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Not yet...

Sleep: The past two nights I have been waking up every 2-3 hours to pee. As soon as I roll onto my left side the urge is SO bad. 

Best moments this week: Watching this little guy on the ultrasound wiggling his toes! 

Miss anything? I miss being able to wear whatever I want...I wear the same things all the time. 

Food cravings/aversions: Still craving oranges and just fruit in general

Showing? Yes

Gender: It's a BOY!!!!!

Labour signs: No

Symptoms: Heartburn seems to be my only symptom that wants to stick around

Belly button in or out? In but it seems to be stretching a bit

Wedding ring on or off? Off

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy

Looking forward to: The Easter long weekend. I have the Friday off and hubby has the Friday and Monday off (lucky him!)...hopefully the weather is nice so we can do lots of fun things with J. 

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 76

Today, I had my OB appt, a growth ultrasound, and a pre-admit appointment. The pre-admit appointment went well. I filled out some papers on what my plan was and what I wanted to try. The nurse was nice and when asked about an epidural, she didn't try to convince me into wanting it. Instead, she gave me other options and told me I could even try nitrous oxide (laughing gas) during contractions.

I was so nervous for my ultrasound because I hadn't felt the baby move much at all in the past couple of days. But as soon as the ultrasound started, he woke up. He's already like his mama and doesn't like anyone in his personal bubble. He's siting breach again but we did get a cute photo of his profile. He's measuring a week ahead at 30 weeks 2 days and weighs approximately 3lbs 3oz. When I was able to see the ultrasound, he was wiggling around and I even got to see him wiggling his little toes.

My OB appointment also went well. She wasn't concerned with my weight. We did talk about the bad pain I've been having in my side and how it's an every day thing now. She talked about pain meds but I wouldn't be able to take them if I'm driving to and from work every day. So I'm going to look into sick leave and see what happens. She was happy with the baby's growth and she didn't see anything on the placenta. Normally the ultrasound techs will make note of it but they didn't this time and she couldn't see anything. That could be because the pictures didn't show the placental lake or because it's gone. She said the placenta looks as it should.

So my appointments went well today and this little guy has been active for me :)

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 77

Today has been another busy day. We started it off by going I church (we haven't been since the summer because I bowled in a league with my dad every Sunday morning, but that ended last weekend). Church was great and J loved the Adventureland. Normally when I leave the house, even leave a room he's in, he has a meltdown. He needs to be everywhere I am (and  not complaining because I know there will be a day when he doesn't want me around because I'll embarrass him in front of his friends).  When we dropped him off at Adventureland, as soon as I put him down, he was off exploring the room and meeting the other young kids (he's in a group of toddlers under 2). When church was over and we went to pick him up, he didn't want to leave. I'm so glad he loves to play with other kids. He's just so sweet.

In the afternoon I went to a friend's kids' birthday party with J. He was really well behaved for not having his nap and having a busy morning. Then my mom and I took him for a walk thinking he would take a power nap. Nope, he was too busy looking around.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I'll be sleeping well tonight. Tomorrow I have a growth ultrasound, OB appointment, and pre-admit appointment. I'm nervous about the ultrasound because I haven't been feeling this little guy very much the past couple of days. I don't know if it's because I've just been so busy and haven't been paying attention (I hope that's all it is). And  nervous about what the OB will say about my weight because I think I've lost some. I'm so glad my ultrasound is at 8am. I just want to see that this little guy is doing good. My faith is in God and I know He's probably telling me to just take a breath and enjoy the pregnancy. I still worry all the time, but I pray everytime I do.

100 Days of Pregnancy: Days 79 & 78

Yesterday, I was so tired. I left work thinking that I was glad my hubby had the night off so I could have some help with J. I've been thinking a lot about cloth diapers and think it just seems silly to be spending more money on disposable diapers for J when we plan on cloth diapering the new baby. So why not start collecting them? This way we can use them on J and then use them on the baby as well. I went to a second hair children's store after work and bought 3 Kushies cloth diapers. I put one on J this afternoon after his swimming lessons and then again after his bath (he's sleeping in one right now as well). I was able to experience a poopy diaper and I have to say, it would probably be easier if we had a diaper sprayer or the liners for the diaper that you can just flush in the toilet. But I managed. And today, I bought a whole lot off of Kijiji. There are 24 cloth diapers, a handful of extra liners, a handful of plastic covers (in J's case, I'm sure he'll need the plastic covers since he is bigger and would have a larger pee than a smaller baby), and a roll of diaper liners. I'm currently washing them now (my washing machine has a handy sanitize cycle, the only thing is it's 2 hours long).

Two of my good friends are also throwing me a baby shower so I'm going to ask for more cloth diapers (I'm going to need smaller ones since these ones seem to be bigger). I'm thinking I want the Applecheeks that are sold at a store in town. There was a lady there who was so helpful. She cloth diapers and she said it's nice to have a few different brands of cloth diapers in your stash. She also told me that the Applecheeks seem expensive ($18 for one) but normally you can get 3 wears out of that one diapers because all you have to do is change the liner). So I think those will be best for the new baby to start with and then by the time he grows out of those, J will be potty trained and done with the bigger ones. So needless to say, I can't wait for my sprinkle shower!!

Today, has been super busy. It started off by cleaning the backyard of all the dog poop (it was nicely covered by snow before, but since it's all melted, it was time to clean it up) and doing some laundry. Then, I had swimming lessons with J and he did amazing today (it must have been the 6 timbits he ate beforehand). While J napped after his swimming, hubby and I cleaned the vehicles, raked all the leaves out of the front garden, brought out the porch swing, cleaned J's tricycle, Fisher Price car, and his wagon, then we took J to a park and walked around and let him play at the playground. After that, I gave J a haircut (it's much cheaper and much less stressful for him for me to do it...and I'm doing a pretty good job!!). Now I'm just relaxing waiting for my load of diapers to finish so I can throw them in the dryer.

100 Days of Pregnancy: Day 80

Today is a bittersweet day. In the summer I had a fresh embryo transfer that resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Today marks this baby's due date. Today, we would be holding this precious baby in our arms, or I would anxiously be sitting at home asking when he or she was going to make their grand entrance.

Today really makes me think about how even though that little embryo didn't grow like it should have, it was still a baby. He or she was still a tiny miracle from God. I believe life is created the moment an egg is fertilized by sperm. And this is why IVF can be really hard and why I try not to think too much about it. If I think about it too much, all I can think about is all of the babies that didn't make it. I had 25 eggs retrieved during our cycle and out of the 25 eggs, 20 of them were fertilized. That's 20 little lives!! And out of those 20 little lives, 17 of them did not mature like they should have, 1 of them struggled to make it after transfer and just couldn't, 1 of them is frozen, and 1 of them is wiggling around inside of me.

One of the things I have learned during our IVF cycle is you have to trust God. I learned that God is in control, no one else. Sometimes I felt like my doctors knew nothing. Obviously they were blessed with this gift and they know the medical side to things, but just because they say this is your best embryo and this is your best chance, you can't always believe that. My best advice for couples going through IVF is to not give up on the "underdogs" (the embryos that the doctors say are poor quality or probably won't make it). Just take a look at my growing belly for proof. I have no idea what this little guy's scoring was or what our frozen embryo's score is because to be honest, it's not important. That number really means nothing. If God has a plan for that embryo, it's going to happen. This is also why I didn't want to have the genetic testing done on the embryos to see if a transfer would just result in a miscarriage. Just because the lab says the embryo has a mutation, can they really be sure? I didn't want to take any chances. I knew I had to leave that part to God to decide.

I will always continue to pray for the couples still struggling to become pregnant and meet their take home baby. There are couples who have not just done 1 or 2 IVF cycles, some have done 6 or 7 and still haven't had any luck. And today, thinking of how this would have been our due date, makes me think of their heartache even more. So I will continue to pray for them because that's all I know to do.