Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Two Years Ago

It was two years ago today that I started the process of my first frozen embryo transfer. My period started on my 24th birthday and with it came a miracle that I didn’t know about at the time. On my 24th birthday I didn’t think having my period was a gift. I was angry and upset. I wanted so badly to be pregnant and the last thing I wanted to see was my period. I had mixed feelings about starting the FET. I was emotionally drained, exhausted. I didn’t think I had the energy to do another transfer, to ride that roller coaster of emotions. But my heart overpowered my brain, the voice inside of me gently whispered “this is it Kelsey, you are so close, do not give up, have faith.”

I can still feel that excitement, nervousness, and fear. I can still remember things so vividly. I remember feeling so calm on the day of the transfer. I had a peace inside of me, I was never alone that day, God was definitely the calming presence I could feel inside of myself. I remember walking down the hall to the transfer room and changing out of my clothes. I was wearing a printed maxi skirt with a greenish turquoise coloured top. My nails were painted and they matched my outfit. My doctor even commented on it. I remember lying on the bed waiting for the doctor to come in and let me know how my embaby did with being thawed and the excitement I felt when I was told that he did fabulous. I remember having the ultrasound on my lower abdomen while my precious embaby was being transferred. And then poof, there he was, nestled safe and warm inside of me. I remember talking to my precious baby, letting him know that I am his mommy and he needed to listen very carefully to me when I told him that he needed to implant and stay warm and safe inside of me and grow into a healthy baby that I could hold in my arms. I remember getting up off the bed and walking back into the change room and still feeling that same peace and calm, I was happy…God was telling me that this was it.

And here I am today, on my 26th birthday with my beautiful family and a beautiful baby boy who did exactly as his mama told him. I never knew what a special day my 24th birthday really was, but I do now.

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