No News

So during my last post, I would say that my theme song was Walking on Sunshine. At the moment, I would say my theme song is more along the lines of So Hard. I was so sure my day one would show up this weekend and when it didn't it just left me feeling deflated. My emotions are at the end at the moment and I'm just feeling so empty. I know this is probably all pms because my day one is late. But why can't anything just go right? Or happen when it's supposed to happen?

I find myself doing double takes at the toilet paper hoping for my monthly visitor. How things have changed this month. Instead of scrutinizing a negative test, I'm scrutinizing toilet paper. I have to admit, infertility makes me do some strange things. I hope I'm not alone!

So as of right now, no news on day one or starting my meds.

Any Day Now

So I'm just sitting here patiently all like "hey, day one, where you at?" Haha, who am I kidding, I am not being patient about any of it. Day one, seriously, I wanted you here like yesterday.

It's an odd feeling wanting my period to come. I suppose it kind of is and kind of isn't because during any normal month, I want my period to come and be on time so my mind doesn't run wild and start to think crazy thoughts like "hey, maybe I am pregnant." When it is late, well, that's a whole other story, a story that involves me buying a cheapy test to which it is always negative but to which my mind will twist that into the thought of well, you never know, which eventually leads to a late period and a crushed me. Appropriate hashtag: storyofmylife.

FYI, my period isn't late yet, but come on, is it too much to ask for it to come early this one time?

Step One: Check!

Today was my injection training at the fertility clinic. Chris came along with me to keep me company and to also watch how to use the injections in case I forget. It could happen, right? Being all hopped up on hormones and all.

I have 5 prescriptions total. By the time we got to the fourth one, Chris says "are they ALL injections?!" The nurse and I just looked at him. Why yes, yes they are. See what I am doing over here? So when I need a late night ice cream, please go and get me some ice cream!

We dropped the prescriptions off at the pharmacy and I will be picking up 2 prescriptions this evening, but only half of the dosage. It is what my nurse recommended in case anything were to happen and the cycle needed to be cancelled. Praying that this does not happen!

I clarified the procedure of day 1 of my period and my nurse said that yes, on day one I phone in and depending on when day 1 happens (if it is during hours or late in the evening and no one is there to answer the phone) that I would come in on either day 2 or day 3 for bloodwork and ultrasound to determine if and when to start the medication. Then she took a peak at my file and realized that the doctor has specifically asked me to come in on day 2. So if my period begins late at night (which is what it seems to do), I am to call the office, leave a message to say I will be there in the morning for the ultrasound and then while I am there they will send my blood work information for me to get done afterwards. I'll just have to do things a little backwards. And then I will go about my day and wait for the phone call to see if I can start our cycle!

Please pray for us! The power of prayer is so strong!!

Injection Training

Tomorrow is an exciting day for us. We have an appointment at our fertility clinic to go over what will be happening next month, go over injections, and picking up prescriptions. I feel like this is step one in our IVF cycle and it is making me eager. Chris will be coming with me which is important to me. He's been a part of this whole process and wants this to be a team thing. It's amazing to have his support and his enthusiasm. He is just as excited as I am. We are doing this together and with his love and support it makes it a little less scary for me.

Tomorrow I also plan on filling my prescriptions at the pharmacy to pick up so I can be ready for whenever day one comes. Our insurance company should be covering 80% of the prescriptions which is a relief because these medications are not cheap by any means. Everything helps and we are very grateful.

A Bit of Panic

With our IVF cycle fast approaching, I have begun to panic. I feel like there are so many things that I am forgetting and I am feeling under prepared. I've already done one cycle, you think I would have a grasp on things, but no, I don't. I feel like I am going in blind again. But I guess there is no real way to prepare for a second IVF cycle based on my first. Each cycle is different. I am however, trying to remember the different things I did to prepare for my last cycle and do them for this cycle (any tips you may have would be greatly appreciated!!). I have been reading past blog posts and reading other bloggers posts. 

Things I have started:

Taking prenatals and folic acid

Alcohol has been eliminated 

Trying my best not to worry or think too far ahead about this cycle

Trying to be mindful of my eating habits

Trying to figure out a plan to eliminate coffee before the start of my cycle (this is proving to be a challenge!!)

Please send any tips my way! 

It's Almost Time

I haven't been too active on my blog because I felt that I didn't have much to share, but I think that will all be changing soon! Last time I wrote, I mentioned that my IVF cycle was scheduled for November, which is right around the corner (happy pumpkin spice season everyone!). November is also when my bachelorette weekend is and my period, if it stayed on course, would come the day I would be coming home from my weekend away, which would have been perfect timing. BUT...this past weekend my little family and I went camping and of course, Aunt Flow wanted to come along for the weekend away. She came early, which means she would come while I am 4 hours away from my clinic in November, which just didn't work. 

I was completely stressed out! So I put a call into my nurse case manager at the clinic and asked if there was any possibly way my cycle could be moved up to October. I did all of this asking on an answering machine and then waited for a call back. She called back a couple of hours later with news that made me sigh with relief. 

So that means my cycle is NEXT month!! 0 periods to go. Next period is the one! Go time! 

I am beyond excited for this cycle and trying my best to stay positive and not let all of the negative what ifs creep in, because we all know there are a lot of things that can go wrong. 

So here I am, waiting for next month and praying that this is God's perfect timing and that He ha sa blessing in store for us! Please send prayers our way! 

Excitement

It's been a long while since I have posted and I think that is because our infertility journey was on hold until May. And if I'm being honest, I was okay with that. I figured May would be here before we knew it and we would get to do our cycle.

But, and I say this often, God has His own timing. And that's where this post will begin.

Last night, Chris and I were booking our honeymoon. We have been discussing our honeymoon for a few months now and it's been one of my main stresses about our wedding (weird, I know!). Well, we finally decided on Austria to snowboard the Alps. So last night, in our pjs, we planned everything online. Found a hotel, flights, discussed it some more, and began entering in our information to confirm and pay for our honeymoon. As I was entering in passport information, I just got a really uneasy feeling in my stomach. I didn't feel comfortable hitting the confirm button. So Chris suggested we wait and think on it some more to which I gladly agreed with relief and shut my laptop.

That brings my story to today. A "no called ID" number called me at 10:41am. I wasn't sure who to expect when I answered, but I really was not expecting our nurse case manager from the fertility clinic to be calling. My first thought was that she wanted to bring me in to go over the injections and give me prescriptions, which of course I thought was super early, but I was okay with because I lvoe to be prepared. But, and this is a huge but!! She was calling to say they have funding available this year and asked if Chris and I would like to be moved up from May of 2018 to November of 2017!!! What?! YES! YES! YES! I was blown away and so giddy with excitement! It's 2 hours later and I am still just as excited. Obviously, Chris and I were not meant to book that trip. That funny feeling in my stomach was God.

Now, it's time to prepare and get ready. I need to be pineapple ready!