It Is None Of Your Business

When are you having more children?

The biological clock is ticking.

Are you starting your family soon?

I know so many people who have adopted/done IVF and then surprise, got pregnant!

To many people, these statements would seem harmless, but to someone who battles infertility every day, they are hurtful and bring up so many emotions. If I am trusting you enough to bring you into my infertility bubble, then I am trusting you to be sensitive to my fragile heart. I don’t expect you to have the magical answer or to come up with some solution as to what might be wrong or what I am doing wrong or to tell me to be patient and keep trying, I am just looking for someone to listen and to know that you are there for me.

And for anyone who thinks it is okay to ask about children and expanding a family, it isn’t. It simply is not because you don’t know their personal situation. You have no idea how painful it is when you ask me when I am expanding my family when I am going through a miscarriage, you have no idea how big of a punch it is when you tell me about some imaginary person who I have never met who got pregnant, just like that, after they adopted or did IVF.

Bottom line is, that is not my story. My story is being written each day and I don’t know what is ahead of me, but at this moment in time, I am battling infertility and just wish these “innocent” questions would stop being asked because you don’t know what is going on behind the scenes, what someone is holding so close to their heart, the pain they keep inside.