Today marks day 1 of my cycle. It started late last night and once again, my hopes of being pregnant were crushed.
I have mixed feelings about starting the process for a frozen blastocyst transfer. Late at night seems to be the worst time ever to think...my mind runs wild when it's given the chance. I just don't know how I feel about being picked and prodded for all the blood tests and how I feel about all of the ultrasounds. Trying to conceive a miracle is a very personal thing, but when IVF is involved, it seems the whole world is involved in your business...there's no privacy at all...NONE. That's starting to get to me a bit.
And the fact that we have 2 blastocysts frozen is starting to bother me a bit. I believe that as soon as an egg has been fertilized, life has been created. So now I'm left with the feeling that my poor babies are frozen in some laboratory. It's a strange feeling and it just hit me last night.
All of these feelings could just be a result of my hormones from my cycle starting. I pray this transfer works. I pray the blastocyst will thaw without any problems and latch on to my uterus and grow into a healthy bundle of joy. I pray the second blastocyst will do the same.
I don't know what I would do if this IVF cycle wasn't successful and I pray I never have to find out.