Growing up, I never expected having a baby would be a problem. I thought it would be like in the movies...boy and girl meet, boy and girl get married, and boy and girl have baby. Boy, was I in for a reality check. Here's how my story goes:
Boy and girl meet. Boy and girl get married. Boy and girl would like very much to start a family. Boy and girl get excited each month at the possibility of a pregnancy. Boy and girl are disappointed each month. Boy and girl go to the doctor and are told they have male and female factors preventing them from conceiving.
Why can life not be like those romantic comedies where everyone ends up living happily ever after? Instead, when you are labeled an infertile, you live a roller coaster ride every single day. I've tried to tell myself that I have come to terms with being infertile and that my husband and I will have to either a) try IVF or b) adoption (I'll talk more about those in a later post), but in reality, each and every month I can't help but be hopeful and each and every month, my heart breaks.
It's extremely hard to grieve the loss of a child that will never have mommy's nose or daddy's eyes. I do this on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis. It never goes away. I will always remain hopeful though and I will always put my faith in God...God has a plan for us...only He knows what is best for us. God has the perfect timing for everything and I'm praying our timing will be soon!!