Our roller coaster ride began about a month and a half after we were approved for adoption. We received a call from Children's Aid that there would be a baby that would need a foster with a view to adopt home. They gave us all of the details that they knew and told us this would be a low risk case...low risk meaning there was a good chance this would work in our favor and the child would become a crown ward. This was great news! We were told there was one other family that they had to interview as well and whichever family the social worker thought would be the best fit would have the child placed with them. This was great news for us because it meant that out of all the families on the list to adopt, we had been narrowed down to a final two. The social worker came out and met with us and then before leaving, we were already told that they wanted us to be the foster with a view to adopt family.
YAH!!! We were ecstatic. Now we just had to wait for the baby to be born. The nursery was already set up and ready to go. We received the call on a Friday and I couldn't have been more happy. I rushed out to the store to buy some clothes with this new bundle of joy to wear. As soon as we met this new baby, we fell in love. You can't help but to love a child. They are just so perfect. So my husband and I went on living our lives with this new little one until two weeks later when the social worker called to say that things had changed, someone had stepped forward, and it looked like the little one would be leaving us. I was devastated! This child I had come to love as my own would be taken away. We were given the option to have the baby placed in another foster home until it was time to say good bye, or the baby could stay with us. Even though it broke my heart, I couldn't send this precious little baby to live with complete strangers just for my benefit. That would have been so selfish on my part. After caring for this precious little one for 11 weeks, we had to say good bye. We were so heartbroken. My heart was so heavy in my chest.
God will never give you more than you can handle...there were times during the adoption process where God was really pushing my limits and having to say good bye to this little baby was one of them. I didn't understand why God was doing this to us. Why He had let us love and care for this little one only for us to have to say goodbye. I had so many unanswered questions but I continued to pray for God's will to be done. It's all I could do and it's all that kept me going.