Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Is There No Escape?

You would think that there would be some sort of escape from infertility, but the cold hard truth is there isn't. Lately, I am reminded of it everywhere, including my dreams.

Last night I had a dream when I was 40 weeks pregnant. I remember calling the doctor asking if I would be induced since my last pregnancy with Grayson, he got too big for my body and there were some complications and some pretty scary moments. The doctor agreed and he put me on hold while he tried to schedule me in. While I was on hold, I remember feeling pain in my dream and rubbing my sides as if I was having contractions and I was wondering if this was the start.

Then I woke up. And realized it was all a dream. Part of me wanted to go back to the dream but a bigger part of me wanted to wipe it from my memory because it felt like a cruel joke.

Now that Chris and I are starting our journey together into IVF, I'm sure I will have more dreams that leave me feeling helpless.

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