Trusting

Trusting is not always an easy thing and when you feel as if God is being silent and just standing by while you are screaming out to Him, it is very hard to trust. But God has shown me time and time again that I need to continuously trust in Him. And this is what I am doing with Finn. 

God answered my prayer at the last possible second (at least that's how I felt). God had a plan for Finn all along and I almost gave up. But God sent a beautiful family into my life who adopted Finn and welcomed him into their family. Through this process I continued to trust God. I prayed for answers and prayed for comfort. I prayed to know that I was doing the right thing and God gave me answers and He gave me the comfort in knowing that this family is the family Finn is meant to be with. Families are created in many different ways. I am Finn's biological mom, but Finn also has another mom, a mom who will raise him (or her) and love him (or her) just as much me (and there is a lot of comfort in knowing this). God used me as a beautiful piece to Finn's puzzle and I am happy I could be a part of it. 

So today, I am choosing to trust God. And tomorrow, I will do the same thing. Finn's transfer was yesterday and I chose to trust God. This is God's plan. So when Finn's mom told me that Finn is a high quality embryo and thawed beautifully, I couldn't help but squeal (literally) in delight and praise God! Because this is God's plan and I will trust! 

So keep on shining Finn! This is your time to shine! 

Finn's Big Day

I can't believe I'm writing this post when a few short months ago I had lost hope. Today, I am filled with so much hope and so much love for Finn and his or her new family!

Finn's big day, Finn's day to shine, is tomorrow! Tomorrow!!

Please pray for Finn and Finn's mom. Please pray that the transfer goes well and that Finn gets comfortable for the next 9 months! Please pray!!

Patience

Today is Day 1 of my menstrual cycle and I have to say that each month, it is getting a little easier to accept that Aunt Flow will continue to visit every month. I haven't been experiencing the crushing pain of knowing my body just can't get pregnant on it's own. It's taken quite a while to get to this point and a lot of praying, but God has worked on my heart and is continuing to work on my heart and I am beginning to trust in God's plan more and more. 

With that being said, Chris and I came to the decision to wait to do IVF until after the wedding. Chris made a really big point when he said our boys are getting a bit older now and we have a bit more freedom to do things. We can enjoy each other now and have so much fun with the boys. If we tried to expand our family now, we wouldn't be able to do as much. So after some prayer, I heard God's answer and that was to wait. To wait and be at peace with waiting. To trust in God's plan. So that's what I am doing and to my surprise, I am at peace with this decision. 

And here's the icing on the cake. Shortly after Chris and I came to the decision to wait to expand our family and to enjoy each other, Chris was offered a new job (please pray for him and our family during this transition as change can be a scary thing!). We currently have no coverage for infertility which means we would be paying for medication out of pocket or both the treatment and medication out of pocket if government funding was not available. I am a strong believer that God hears all of our prayers. I was so worried about finances and how we would pay for IVF after our wedding and that was my biggest concern with waiting. Shortly after I put my trust in God's plan to wait, God gave me an answer to a prayer. Chris' new benefit package covers infertility, almost enough for us to do two rounds of IVF with only having to pay a percentage out of our pocket. I am so so so very thankful!